End of life issues

Loreto House is a prayerful presence for families with loved ones who are critically ill or dying. We currently have information for families with questions about medical directives and the ethical provision of care for the elderly, the critically ill and the disabled.

Mission and Purpose

Persons who suffer from terminal illnesses or injuries, old age, minimally conscious states, dementia, and other serious physically or mentally debilitating conditions are valuable human beings with as much dignity and worth as anyone else. Like anyone else, they need to know that they are wanted, loved, seen with dignity, and respected. They are an important part of our world, and they deserve to know that they matter and that they are needed. After all, who is more needed in our materialistic culture than those who call us to compassion, care, and love?

Unfortunately, our culture, which tends to emphasize independence and health as virtues above love and compassion, frequently discounts the intrinsic worth and dignity of vulnerable persons and dictates that a “low quality of life” makes their lives unworthy of living. Healing the Culture rejects these narrow views of “quality of life,” and believes that true quality of life comes from the knowledge that we are created in the image of love.

Being With© is a project of Healing the Culture which promotes deeper awareness of the meaning and dignity in human suffering, and trains volunteers to visit with patients, offering true compassion and love to those faced with terminal illnesses and physical and mental limitations in hospitals, nursing facilities, assisted-living residences, hospices, and homes.

Loreto House volunteers will be trained in this unique method of serving the dying and terminally ill.

Pledge

We recognize that debilitation and suffering frequently offer opportunities for detachment, patience, empathy, humility, awareness of the intrinsic goodness of other people, forgiveness, wisdom, and love. But we also recognize that suffering persons possess the capacity to inspire and transform others by generously allowing us to reach out in compassion and care.

Unfortunately, our culture does not generally place a value on the transformations that can emerge from sharing one another’s suffering and weakness. This often leads to patients, and particularly elderly and seriously ill or injured patients, feeling as though their lives are burdensome, expendable, wasted, or even despised. Our mission is to heal those wounds and encourage love to flourish. Toward that end, our volunteers commit to the following pledge:

The Being With© Pledge

I believe that what makes life worth living is love, hope, goodness, compassion, generosity, and faith.

I believe that love means the gift of myself my time, my heart, my smile, even my life; and that true love requires sacrifice, surrender, and commitment. I am willing to offer my personal sacrifices to bring love into the world.

I believe that every single human being is a mystery a unique, unrepeatable creation, with intrinsic dignity and infinite worth.

I believe that human beings do not lose dignity or worth when they lose health, independence, youth, function, control, or possessions.

I believe that “being with” is as deep an expression of love as “doing for.” So, if I find that there is nothing more I can do to alleviate some one’s suffering, I will enter into relationship by being with the other.

Although suffering in itself is not a “good,” I believe that any moment of suffering has the potential to be transformed into a moment of great love. More than at any other time in life, the suffering person has the power to inspire, to draw others out of themselves, and to make the world come alive in compassion and self-sacrifice. I value the generous act of love that is produced by suffering persons who humbly allow others to enter into their vulnerability.

I will never say or do anything that I know will cause a suffering person to think that he or she is unwanted, or that may lead a suffering person to despair or to believe that life is no longer worth living.

I believe that every suffering person is worthy of my love. I pledge to be with those who suffer, as I can.

What Volunteers Do

Being With© volunteers are not professional counselors, grief consultants, licensed therapists, or spiritual advisers. We do not provide service, perform errands or tasks, or provide respite care. We don’t do patient assessment or assist other care personnel with their duties.

Being With© volunteers are ordinary people from every walk of life who want to spend a little bit of time, as our schedules allow, simply being present to weak, dependent, and vulnerable people who suffer in hospitals, nursing facilities, assisted-care residences, hospices, and homes, in order to bring about hope, love, wantonness, belonging, friendship, and mutual gratitude.

We spend our time quietly by the side of the suffering person, listening, smiling, singing, reading, laughing, watching television, listening to music, or just being quietly present. We sometimes hold a patients hand, or caress some one’s arm or forehead. Sometimes we cry. Always we love.

Being With© is not for everyone. It takes someone who understands that the greatest moments of human love usually occur when we stop trying so hard to “do for” one another, and simply “be with” each other.

Our volunteers recognize that human dignity does not come from what we are able to do; rather, it comes from our capacity to give and receive love in ways that are frequently subtle and unspoken.

Thus, whether with voice or with silence, our volunteers give (and receive) a sense of the intrinsic dignity, deep meaning, and immeasurable worth of human beings, regardless of their physical or mental state. Our visits do not always last long. Sometimes a volunteer has only a few minutes at the end of a busy day, once a week to make a visit. But even when short, these visits often lead to great peace, and even joy, in the midst of suffering.

Text courtesy of Healing the Culture

Loreto House provides free information on topics such as:

A Guide to End of Life Decisions
Advanced Medical Directives
Organ Donation and Brain Death
Suffering and Compassion
Nutrition and Hydration for the Vegetative State
Bioethics
Euthanasia and Physician Assisted Suicide

The 4 levels of suffering

Suffering is to be avoided at all costs

Suffering interferes with obtaining pleasure and
possession, and so must be avoided. Suffering can only
end in depression, despair, and complete loss of
self-worth.

Suffering is useful if I can control it

A Level 2 view of suffering can produce some positive
effects, but not long-term ones. If we think the end is in
sight, we may be able to endure pain. If suffering gives
us an advantage in the future, such as earning the
respect of others, then it is tolerable for a while. But
such effects do not last. Ultimately, suffering will cause
depression, despair, self-pity, bitterness, anger,
resentment, and isolation.

Suffering can bring about good

Level 3 views suffering as an opportunity for growth in
wisdom, love, forgiveness, concern for others,
compassion, leadership, and humility. Suffering can
encourage growth in the lives of others. When we
suffer, we allow others to empathize with us, and we
have the capacity to bring a depth of love and hope into
the world that perhaps would otherwise never be
possible.

Suffering allows us to share in God’s love

When we share in another’s suffering, we share in God’s
love for us. Level 4 allows us to trust that even in our
deepest pain, even when we cannot see it, God can
bring about a good that we never thought possible, and
we can look to Him with confidence, and declare with
true courage: “Thy will be done.”

In the aftermath of the tragic Terri Schiavo case, there has been a great deal of attention paid to end of life issues, including “living wills”and “extraordinary treatment”. It is very important that we clearly understand the basic issues involved in this area, as well as the relevant teachings of the Church.

Moral Principles

Decisions regarding the medical care of gravely ill person have great moral significance. They require us to face the reality of suffering and death, in the light of faith, confident in the redemptive power of our suffering united to the Cross of Christ, with the sure hope of the resurrection.

The elderly and infirmed

No matter how grave a patients ailment or incapacity, they always remain a person, made in the image and likeness of God, and precious in his sight. It is always wrong to deliberately cause the death of an innocent person, either by our direct actions or by failing to perform a duty.

The fundamental distinction that should be borne in mind is whether medical treatment is “ordinary”, which is morally obligatory, or “extraordinary”, which is morally optional and can be declined.

Living Wills

Much is heard about “living wills” — a specific instruction on a particular course of medical treatment, usually with regard to life-sustaining treatment. They are also known as “advance directives”.

There are many problems with “living wills”. They are inflexible, and tie the hands of your doctors and loved ones. Because it’s impossible to foresee your exact medical situation, they are inherently vague and can be confusing to doctors. Most “living will”” forms that are generally available are actually”“refuse treatment”” forms that create a presumption in favor of death.

(Text above courtesy of the Archdiocese of New York, Family Life Respect Life Office)

The privilege of serving the dying

The volunteers of Loreto House are dedicated to enhancing and protecting the sacredness of life at all stages. We are a resource to help all family members who are touched by the dying process of a loved one. Providing spiritual help is among our priorities. Do you have questions about a living will, advanced medical directives? Our society is ignoring the dignity of the human person with threats like physician assisted suicide, and final exit theology.

Loreto House is your resource for God’s plan for respecting the dignity of life at all stages, especially where it is most vulnerable.

Hope, goodness, compassion and faith